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Bella

At what age can boys use the men's toilet alone?

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Bella

My son is seven. About the age when an awful lot of things become less black and white and very, very grey. This latest grey area has me feeling anxious and if I’m honest, a little sick:

At what age does a young boy start using a male public toilet on his own?

Or more importantly: at what age is a young boy too old to be visiting a female toilet with his mum?

Parenting. It’s all about letting go. Loosening the ties. It’s a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly task. Letting our little loves be a little more independent. A little more responsible. Going to the shops on their own. Catching a wave at the beach on their own. Staying home alone for an hour while mum goes to the shops. They all seem big enough but innocent enough.

But sending my son in to use a public toilet alone? It’s a hard string to loosen. Toilet blocks are stinky, weird, seedy places. There’s something creepy about the isolation of a young boy standing alone in this spot of the world. It doesn’t just irk me, it frightens me.

I’ll get straight to it. It worries me because we all know paedophiles live among us.

This week has been a very clear reminder of that. Many parents who have young boys currently aged at their most vulnerable dread to read this week’s news. I know because I’m one of them.

Almost every newspaper has been awash with worldwide coverage of Leaving Neverland a 2-part doco featuring interviews with two Australian men - Wade Robson and James Safechuck - who claim to have been in abusive relationships with the ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson at the height of his fame. Around twenty years later, both men have made allegations, which the Jackson family have denied, that they were sexually assaulted by the star when they were in contact with him as children.

At home (and making headlines around the world) Cardinal George Pell has been sentenced to six years imprisonment after being found guilty of sexually abusing two 13-year-old choirboys at Melbourne’s St Patrick’s Cathedral in 1996.

Each of these victims’ stories were different and compelling. A staunch reminder to everyone that sometimes those who seem the most unlikely offenders are indeed the most terrifying. And a reminder to me that our young boys are very vulnerable.

Especially alone.

But we have to let go. I have. Depending. Airports, shopping malls. I wait patiently out the front. Actually, I’m not waiting patiently. I’m waiting anxiously, worryingly. Because I love my son. He always exits looking satisfied he hasn’t had to navigate through a gaggle of women who might tut-tut his presence, too. Or would they?

When I just don’t know (and it’s happened several times) I’ve come up with a pretty good alternative to entering a public toilet for kids that just cannot hold on for another moment. The one way for a mum to make sure her young son is well and truly safe whilst shaking the snake …

Go outside and wee on a tree.

Yes! Embrace it for those tricky years. For that, certainly no one will spend the rest of their life in regret.

https://honey.nine.com.au/2019/03/13/15/48/what-age-young-boys-toilet-alone

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Bella

Well if it was me it would be at least 12 or even at this age one has to watch out for strange men or who is heading towards the toliets

I know many women will take their male child to the females area and l dont mind and many women dont as well

 

it would be interesting on what age you all think is best to leave a child going into this area

 

 

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misplacedmodifier
Posted (edited)

 

The two pedo examples cited had nothing to do with bathrooms and "we all know pedos  live among us" it says.  And the solution is pee on a tree?  They aren't vampires; pedos can go outside.   It would seem far riskier to have your son outside peeing on a tree where someone could sneak up behind him while he's otherwise occupied, grab him, drag him to a car, and drive off.  

 

A pedo is not likely to risk having a non-pedo man walk in to the public bathroom and catch him molesting a kid.  In the unlikely event a pedo does take that bold move, molested is better than kidnapped.  There is likely one door in and out of the bathroom so the pedo won't be leaving with the child, and there is a good chance someone would hear your son if he started yelling, 

 

Of all the things to lose sleep over, pedo in the public bathroom should be pretty low on the list (in my opinion). 

 

At what age does the son display anti-social behavior being raised by an over-protective neurotic parent?  I'd be more worried about this person's son becoming a pedo growing up with his every move watched by his mother.  

 

At what age does mom leave the son alone waiting outside while she uses the bathroom?  And where are you taking your kids to be dealing with pedo-haven bathrooms?  

 

I'm not a parent, so maybe I don't get it, but this seems silly.  If it is a real problem we should just have unisex bathrooms like they do in some sci-fi shows.  "what if there's a young girl and a man shows her his penis?"  What stops him from walking into the ladies room and doing that?   The female stick figure on the door?    Which actually raises the question: with all the worrying about who the son might encounter alone in the men's room.... why isn't she more worried about the rapist lurking in the last stall of the women's room?  When she takes her son in there is her 7 year old son going to stop the man from raping her?    

 

Perhaps adult diapers are something to consider.

Edited by misplacedmodifier
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Bukcherry

Was this written by the same idiot who got offended at finding genitalia on their child's plastic toy ? 

 

Don't people have any instinct anymore or have we had it all beaten out of us through evolution and homogonised living ? 

 

This is the type of nonsense we would hear from the anti LBGT crowd , believing people would go though sex change operations so they can get a good look at some kids junk , all the while forgetting homosexuals already have full access to the bathrooms of those they are most attracted to . 

 

It's your kid moron , make the call . 

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misplacedmodifier
Posted (edited)

 

12 hours ago, Bukcherry said:

 believing people would go though sex change operations so they can get a good look at some kids junk

I don't think this represents the transgendered in the bathroom concerns accurately.  I believe the issue was about establishing who is transgendered and who is just a man in a dress claiming to be transgendered for a cheap thrill.  It's not difficult to imagine that could happen.  Didn't most of the coming-of-age comedies in the 80s even have a "boys find a way into girls locker room" scene?

 

I doubt anyone thinks men will chop off their twigs and berries to watch young girls pee. (Actually, if there are any men willing to go to that extreme, their voluntary castration might make that a net gain.)

 

 

Aside: am I defending transphobic haters who want exclusive bathroom privileges?   Strange days, these.....

Edited by misplacedmodifier
added aside
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ZoeZanidoo

Obviously hyperbole, but I enjoyed the responses, far different than the last couple times this has been brought up imo.

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Bukcherry
9 hours ago, misplacedmodifier said:

 

I don't think this represents the transgendered in the bathroom concerns accurately.  I believe the issue was about establishing who is transgendered and who is just a man in a dress claiming to be transgendered for a cheap thrill.  It's not difficult to imagine that could happen.  Didn't most of the coming-of-age comedies in the 80s even have a "boys find a way into girls locker room" scene?

 

I doubt anyone thinks men will chop off their twigs and berries to watch young girls pee. (Actually, if there are any men willing to go to that extreme, their voluntary castration might make that a net gain.)

 

 

Aside: am I defending transphobic haters who want exclusive bathroom privileges?   Strange days, these.....

You might find it goes deeper than that .People fear what they don't understand , you are saying people tolerate transexuals and not transgenders . Pretty sure I could find you some examples of prejudice across the board . For sure some TG will give TS a bad reputation but they can very much get lumped together and feared en masse from sporting events to toilets they are under suspicion . 

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justLiz
On 3/13/2019 at 6:36 AM, Bella said:

I’ll get straight to it. It worries me because we all know paedophiles live among us.

that's something which has been going on for ages. the fact that the media is making ratings by playing over and over celebrities involved in such things doesn't mean pedophiles are growing in numbers by the day.

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Bella
1 hour ago, justLiz said:

that's something which has been going on for ages. the fact that the media is making ratings by playing over and over celebrities involved in such things doesn't mean pedophiles are growing in numbers by the day.

Lord Liz you need to be careful on how this thread is going to become 

But I have to say for boys and also girls we need to be careful 

And supervision is one by a parent 

Media yes go overboard on reports but it warns parents on the dangers whether it is a men or women s toliet 

You get some real crazy people who might be hiding I mean there has been reports not only on your children but older girls or boys 

But there was a case not long ago where there was a very young girl went to the toliet in a ballet school and there was a man who went into the women's toliet and was about to rape a eight year old and a father heard screaming so he ran in and faced the man and knocked him out whether you are a homosexaul man or straight man like this bloke was you as a adult go with a young child as at least you know they are safe 

I backtrack on my answer and say any age you need to be careful and mostly when no one is in the loo

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justLiz
1 hour ago, Bella said:

Lord Liz you need to be careful on how this thread is going to become 

But I have to say for boys and also girls we need to be careful 

And supervision is one by a parent 

Media yes go overboard on reports but it warns parents on the dangers whether it is a men or women s toliet 

You get some real crazy people who might be hiding I mean there has been reports not only on your children but older girls or boys 

But there was a case not long ago where there was a very young girl went to the toliet in a ballet school and there was a man who went into the women's toliet and was about to rape a eight year old and a father heard screaming so he ran in and faced the man and knocked him out whether you are a homosexaul man or straight man like this bloke was you as a adult go with a young child as at least you know they are safe 

I backtrack on my answer and say any age you need to be careful and mostly when no one is in the loo

i'm not saying kids should go to bathrooms unattended. but if you are the father taking your daughter to the toilet you wait by the door. see what goes in and out. same goes for a mother with her son.

what i was trying to say above is that having pedophiles attacking kids in bathrooms has nothing to do with the MJ case.

 

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Bella

Well if you go into the mother's room where women breast feed 

Fathers can go in there so they are with their daughter 

In Australia you can do this lord lizard 

Lol lord Liz and l in debate :giggle:

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